Waitin

Wow this week has bee a LOOONNNGG one... is it Friday yet??? Lie to me please. It has not been a bad week... well for me anyhow. But dang it is never ending. Mel is moody, too many jobs pulling him in all directions, and weather is not cooperating of course. Bran is sick, still. I have been working, working. But over all it has been a very nice week. Low stress.. lots of game time, if I could stay awake later anyhow. Michelle got me hooked on Animal Crossing for the gamecube... lol we are lil kids huh. The daycare loves it though, absolutely pure happiness when I put that game in. So cute. Anyhow nothing big to say so gonnna shut up..... just waitin waitin for the weekend.

Earth

It has been awhile since we have made it out on our hiking trails. And I am really starting to feel it, I need it. Mel has been working a lot lately, so just has no spare time. He has not taken a day off since Christmas. And well not seeing an end in sight to that anytime soon. He loves to keep busy, busy.
I on the other hand, I need that time with the earth. I crave it, and with it being winter there is no gardening to be done. So not gonna get it at home. To sit on the cold dirt and listen to the wind in the trees, the water in the creek, feel the breeze move my hair. It empowers me and soothes me all at once. There is no other feeling in this world that compares. Winter is not my favorite season, you dont get all the senses while out, but I still love to go.
I want to put my feet in the creek and play in the dirt, watch the animals graze, and just be. It is my sanctuary, my church if you want to call it that. And to be away from it too long, leaves me just feeling empty and longing.

Hurley (aka Murasame)

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

Mura leaves tomorrow for Iraq once again... only known him for about six or seven months ... but can't imagine him being away that long either. After all in Norrath time that is years :) Take care of yourself Blondie Boy.

This blogs for you... (you know who you are)

I think I need to define my thinking of the word "friend". There are those I consider to be 'close friends' and those I will for clarity sake call 'postcard friends'. Well 'postcard friends' are those ones you talk to maybe a couple times a year.... not someone you think to call when something great or tragic happens. They get the Christmas letter with the years events as you get theirs.

Then there are the 'close friends' you know the ones you call just to say hi. The ones that know all the intimate little things about you that you don't go around telling everybody. The ones who are there for you when you need to talk, the ones that you actually let see you cry. And you know that is not something many of you have seen me do. So if you have... well you figure it out. The ones you would drive all night for if they needed you to be there for them.

You talk to them with confidence knowing that they know the true you, and you can trust them to. But what if you find out they don't trust you with them details? That someone you have thought of as a 'close friend' for years actually thinks of you as a 'postcard friend'? There is something to come to terms with...... and yeah I admit not easy to do. But, well I have overcame harder things throughout my life, so I am sure I will overcome this as well. Though as with any loss, the loss of trust takes time. Especially cause that is not something I give away easily.

overwhelmed

Sorry guys not keeping up, heck on phone either for that matter. Been getting a lot of "Are you okay?" lately. Yes, Yes, Yes. Just need some time to my own thoughts once in awhile. And I have had sooo much running through my head lately, that if I begin talking (or typing on here) about any of it, I am just gonna go from one topic to the next. It will make complete sense to me and absolutely none to anyone else. Every year same thing and a few of ya know that cause well ya know me :) Figure two more weeks ok guys? Then I should be sorted out for the next year again and be my happy, smiley, cynical, bratty self. Til I take my month of whatever this is again.... and we know it will happen, so next year remember YES I am okay!!!


PS... and if I didnt answer the phone... it does NOT mean I am mad at you, could possibly mean I shut off the ringer cause well I do that sometimes.